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Monday, January 19, 2004

Just want to be happy

~Love Mum, Dad and Sis always~

I'm so under the weather. I have been coughing endlessly, especially when I'm trying to sleep. It just got worse when I lay down to sleep. Sigh.

I spent hours day-dreaming. I lay down on the bed, looked out at the clear blue morning sky and watched the occasional small puffs of clouds that strolled by my window. It was, indeed a beautiful, sunny day. I wanted so much to go out and walk under the blue sky but my condition forced me to swallow back that temptation. My thoughts started to form but in a pretty disorganized way at first. Like a spiral in the wind, they came. But in time they slowed down, falling llightly and gently like feathers. One by one, I put the pieces together, like a jigsaw puzzle and solved it. The words just appeared, "I just want to be happy". I just want to be happy. I don't want to put myself down anymore. I want to appreciate all I have now and to realize that losing them will mean losing my happiness. I want to wake up every morning and tell myself that I am not useless or hopelessly deranged emotionally. I have to stop thinking so much. It drives me nuts. The amount of imagination or thoughts I load into the mind is simply huge. I shall say, it's overloaded.

And so, there I was smiling on the bed. I snuggled back into under the sheets and slept for another hour or so (I was feeling lazy to get up =p). Peace~

Yun @ 12:30 PM | |

about me

Home: KL, Malaysia
School: U of A

I am someone who frets a lot - I call it a psychological disorder. I am constantly trying to escape my complex mind which, very often, drives me and my close companions to the edge of insanity. Born under the sun star Libra, I am greatly affected by a disease called "indecisiveness". Nicknames were never part of my dictionary until I met some people who decided to name me "turtle". Soon, I was representing a zoo of hamsters, "sotongs", pigs, cats, etc...

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