Splash!

Friday, November 26, 2004

lost

I woke up late for my lab this morning. Nevertheless, I pulled myself out quickly and headed straight to the lab. I walked out of my apartment feeling a little uneasy of my own apprehensions, but soon all was forgotten after I put my headphones on and drifted with the music that came to my ears...

I realize that I hold too many grudges on people around me. There were many times when I growled and mocked those who ridiculed me because I am a foreign student. I complain all the time. I used to ask someone up there to take away the capability of worrying and stress from me but now it seems that I want to take away my tendency to complain.

I sent an email back home complaining about the unfair fee hike proposed by the university and informing my parents of my failed midterm. When I saw the replies from my mum and dad, I felt sad. I feel sad because I have to make them feel what I am going through. I am being selfish for projecting all my complains to them. Now, I am still in an unbalanced mood, but I know that I do not want to let my parents shoulder more emotional burden as they are already burdened by the cost of my education here. Sometimes, I wish that I could be just as brilliant and capable like the top students. Why? So that I can make my parents happy.

I am not doing very well in school. And, the case is not looking good next year too. Third year engineering studies are far more difficult and challenging and my last two years in this program are crucial.

Any how, I am still enjoying school here. The term is coming to an end. Labs were never fun in school because they are tiring and destructive to the mind. However, I seem to enjoy my organic chemistry labs mainly because I have a nice TA and very hilarious and friendly classmates. My lab partner is one funny guy. I guess he feels shy around me. It is natural for me to feel that I am the odd one because I am an international student, but he is pretty nice - just that he does not show it out all the time.

Two days ago in the lab, he got concentrated sulfuric acid spills on his finger. He had to report it to the lab-coordinator and fill out some papers. As a result, I had to do the lab by myself because he only returned two hours later. My TA said that he should thank me for doing it when we handed in the product yield. I just smiled. He told the TA with a grin, "Yeah...I did that," but in actual fact, he did not say thank you to me yet. Haha. I do not know the reason he did not dare to say it out to me but I could tell that he was grateful because he helped me clean my glassware. I have the last lab to complete next week and I am already feeling reluctant to leave the lab. We were not exactly friends. Outside of the lab, we barely say hi even if we saw each other. Not a big deal to me. But I do hope that I won't meet cocky people next term in my lab classes.

I am pretty lost now. I am clueless as to how to complete my assignment.

Yun @ 5:59 AM | |

about me

Home: KL, Malaysia
School: U of A

I am someone who frets a lot - I call it a psychological disorder. I am constantly trying to escape my complex mind which, very often, drives me and my close companions to the edge of insanity. Born under the sun star Libra, I am greatly affected by a disease called "indecisiveness". Nicknames were never part of my dictionary until I met some people who decided to name me "turtle". Soon, I was representing a zoo of hamsters, "sotongs", pigs, cats, etc...

chat

if mistaken

Fee hike - Discriminating!

I love Sunday mornings

The beginning

What?

Poking