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Thursday, November 11, 2004

What?

What?

I panicked. Strong currents of fear flushed me as I flipped through the exam paper. I do not want to talk about it. I am expecting a really low grade for this second term paper. Oh, what the heck. It is the start of my four-day holiday and I should not spoil it. It is after all just a term paper. I knew how to do my stuff. Just that I was a little slow in figuring it out (in fact, I was too late to write my solutions correctly) or I was not as smart and careful as the others.

I met my housemate's father today. He thought I was from Fort McMurray. He said he had been to Kuala Lumpur a long time ago. Unlike his wife, he was pretty friendly and asked me how I came about to Canada.

After chatting for a while, I retreated into my room to savour the scrumptuos ham-mushrrom pizza that I bought. I thought of heading down to Chinatown to get a haircut, but it is pretty windy and cold outside. I am too lazy to walk. I feel like crap today. Sometimes, I feel I am not fit for this program of study. I am good at math and physics, but...sigh. Probably, there is nothing wrong with me. It could be the crust lady teaching this course. Yeah, I would keep that in mind so that I won't be stressed out. I am like a rubber band, stretched to a limit, that would snap anytime soon.

What shall I do now? I am just blasting music in my room now. I will probably head down to the piano room and bang on it. Oh right, my neigbour just came back. I have to turn the volume down now. She is the most inflexible person I have ever met. She gets angry even when we are watching tv outside (the volume was never not loud, but slightly audible from the room). She gets pissed off when I am having dinner with my friend in the kitchen. Does she expect us to whisper when we chat for her sake? If she thinks it is too noisy to study, she should go to the library.

The noise just gets to her all the time. I am not surprised if she comes knocking at my door asking me to lower down the volume again. Seriously, the music is not loud, and the partition of the wall that separates my room and hers is really thin. This "house" was not quite engineered right. Our doors are too close to each other (our door knobs are approximately 5 cm away from each other).

Anyway, the point is, no matter how moderate any one of us plays music in the room, the person next door can still hear it. I bet she can hear me talking whenever I am on the phone. When she is on the phone, I can definitely hear every single word she says. But, too bad, she speaks in Korean, a language so alien to me. Ah, heck.

However, there is another side to the story. My friends analyzed the situation and said that she is probably jealous that I am not spending more time with her. My dad said the same thing when I told him what happened. That is another possibility. Come to think of it, the possibility might be 100% true now that I remembered our conversations back then when I first moved in. She was always saying how we should spend more time together, do grocery shopping or hang out together. Oh well. Too bad. She cannot expect everything to work her way. I was in her shoes once, but did I care? I learnt not to care about it and just took it step by step. I believe things would not have ended up this bad if she did not expect me to be more than just a housemate. We need not ignore each other at least.

Yun @ 5:50 AM | |

about me

Home: KL, Malaysia
School: U of A

I am someone who frets a lot - I call it a psychological disorder. I am constantly trying to escape my complex mind which, very often, drives me and my close companions to the edge of insanity. Born under the sun star Libra, I am greatly affected by a disease called "indecisiveness". Nicknames were never part of my dictionary until I met some people who decided to name me "turtle". Soon, I was representing a zoo of hamsters, "sotongs", pigs, cats, etc...

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What is the source of my unhappiness?