Splash!

Saturday, November 20, 2004

It is not me

Last night, I discovered that my evening class was cancelled after a 10-minute walk in the cold. There was a printed paper stuck to the door of the classroom informing us that the instructor was ill. I was pretty annoyed because I had to walk back and tell my friend about it so that we can go to the karaoke place earlier.

She wanted to go there to practise her solo song and our duet song for today's singing competition. Even though I had tons of work to do, I was obliged to tag along to practise as well. Personally, I did not feel the need to take it that seriously. After all, I joined the competition to have fun and probably gain some experience in stage singing. Another friend of hers came along too. She found out abotu the singing competition and wanted to participate in it as well. Her friend had a realy good voice. She sang really well and I would think she will win the trophies (which are nothing of importance to me).

However, my friend forgot about the time that we planned to spare. She kept repeating her solo song, claiming that it was not good enough and she needed to keep singing it again to reduce her apprehensions or whatever it is that was bothering her. I was pretty pissed. I was tired and I was not having a good time. Well, I was a little sore with the fact that I do not know Mandarin. There are so many chinese songs that I love to listen. I wish I could sing them. All those negative thoughts crashed and it was pathetic of me because I was singing old english songs to myself. I have to admit that I cannot sing well. I may have a relatively good voice but the strength and power to project it is not there. She keeps telling me it is a skill to be acquired. I do not sing that often too. Probably only at times when I take a shower in the bathroom.

Anyhow, I was not enjoying this whole thing. A sudden realization gushed into my mind that put down my hopes for having fun at this singing competition. In fact, it is not fun anymore going singing with them at karaoke places. Just when we were about to leave, she asked us to practise our duet song without the music (because the place did not have that song). It was horrible. I could not sing like how I used to do when we were practising at home. I just did not want to bother anymore. I sang a few sentences...and I sang out of tune...and that was it. I said it was okay and let's go.

I did not throw a temper or anything. My friend kept apologizing for draggging me for so long and kept asking me if there is anything wrong. I just gave an excuse that my eyes were hurting and I was tired. But the truth was, I felt the whole thing was a hypocrisy.

Okay, I am late for class.

Yun @ 1:34 AM | |

about me

Home: KL, Malaysia
School: U of A

I am someone who frets a lot - I call it a psychological disorder. I am constantly trying to escape my complex mind which, very often, drives me and my close companions to the edge of insanity. Born under the sun star Libra, I am greatly affected by a disease called "indecisiveness". Nicknames were never part of my dictionary until I met some people who decided to name me "turtle". Soon, I was representing a zoo of hamsters, "sotongs", pigs, cats, etc...

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