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Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Go home ... no?

It is that time of the year again where I anticipate the arrival of summer. Summer is when I take a trip back home, and stay for about four months before returning to Canada for a new academic year.

Looking back, I realized how fast two years have passed by. I came to Canada in 2003 to do Grade 12 OUAC (A-levels). Since then, I have been living by myself - managing my time, school, food and financial issues all by myself. To some extent, I have learnt to live independently. However, sinking in my deep thoughts last night made me conclude that it is something I have yet to be proud of. After all, I am still depending on my parents income for school, food, and other miscellaneous expenditure. Being totally independent is when I use the my own hard-earned money to live.

Then again, I have definitely learned how to handle a lot of issues by myself. This is the most valuable education I can get here besides the knowledge gained from school. And just like any other young adult, freedom to me has become a precious commodity. I can stay up till 5 a.m. and sleep-in late for the day without being nagged by the Mother. I can go out and have fun till late night without any curfews. I can get around easily even if I don't have a car to drive. I am free of obligations to stay at home where it is safe and sound, and be a good girl. I do not want to think of home as a jail, but I have to admit that sometimes it gets to that point.

The difference between Asian and Caucasian parents is the degree of willingness to let go of their grown-up children. Asian values is said to be more attached to family ties, whereby children must not abandon their parents when they are older. The Caucasian parents are not too concerned about this. After all, good and obedient children do take care of their aged parents as long as you teach them to value their parents' contribution and love.

There are pros and cons to both sides. Of course, abandoning your parents who have nurtured you since your birth is a sin in nature. But then again, being selfish and overprotective over your children will only do more harm than good. My perception shows that it will worsen the relationship between the child and the parent. It is worth realizing it because I feel that parents forget that we grown-up children need to venture out on our own now. We are not six-year-olds anymore...

The bigger part of me wants to go home for any possible reason (good food, family time, the exciting city, friends...), but there's a small part of me that dreads the idea of being treated like a princess. I need to be home because it is safe. I have that curfew (but I do understand that KL is not a safe place to be after 12 midnight). I cannot move around and go wherever I like myself. My parents are willing to send me where I need to go but then again why the hassle?

Yet after all this, it is worth sacrificing some of this freedom to be home. After all, I have been away for such a long time. I miss them, they miss me. I just hope that they will be able to understand my reasons for being a little rebellious. I may have changed in many ways but I still love my family. I still love my home country. I have not forgotten my values. Sometimes, parents forget. And when you remind them about the generation and how things are different in a variety of situations, they get upset because it is like a slap to them (you know...the-talking-back-to-your-parents issue...). Oh well. Home it is.

Yun @ 4:24 AM | |

about me

Home: KL, Malaysia
School: U of A

I am someone who frets a lot - I call it a psychological disorder. I am constantly trying to escape my complex mind which, very often, drives me and my close companions to the edge of insanity. Born under the sun star Libra, I am greatly affected by a disease called "indecisiveness". Nicknames were never part of my dictionary until I met some people who decided to name me "turtle". Soon, I was representing a zoo of hamsters, "sotongs", pigs, cats, etc...

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