Splash!

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Something Stupid

I have been thinking a lot these few days. I keep asking myself these questions that seem to cloud my judgement of the situation. It is either stupid or useless. Both are not good outcomes. Then again, I feel like I am constantly walking towards a dead end, and there is always a choice I have to make in the end - turning back to start anew or wait for a miracle. I have been waiting at the dead end for years, but no miracle came. So yet again, I dream too much, and I hope too hard wishing that one day he will realize that I can be more than that.

But I am tired. Maybe dreaming on will keep everything alive for me. If it cannot be that way in reality, let it live on in my dreams. At least, I still have the ability to dream. I will keep hoping. Sometimes, it is better to just hide them lest we lose something more valuable than just love. In the end, it all depends on fate. The people up there who tie the red string of love to two names.

Maybe saying something stupid like I love you won't make a difference because the definition of love is one bloody confusion. After all, what the heck is love? I can understand a mother's love for her child, or a person's love for his pet. But what is this love that pulls men and women together like magnets?

Nevertheless, no point mourning over something stupid like this anymore. For the next two years, I won't be staying put at one place. Until I finally settle down at one place will I think of love again. It does hurt and it is not easy, but I don't want to make the same mistake again. I do not want history to repeat. I have erased any future contacts with you since you want to have nothing to do with me ever again. Yes, I was dumb. Dumb enough to have fallen for a useless guy like you. I bet you are happy that you got something out of our relationship. At least you had nothing to lose. But I did. Well, fuck you.

If only you know how much I need you...

Yun @ 11:21 AM | |

about me

Home: KL, Malaysia
School: U of A

I am someone who frets a lot - I call it a psychological disorder. I am constantly trying to escape my complex mind which, very often, drives me and my close companions to the edge of insanity. Born under the sun star Libra, I am greatly affected by a disease called "indecisiveness". Nicknames were never part of my dictionary until I met some people who decided to name me "turtle". Soon, I was representing a zoo of hamsters, "sotongs", pigs, cats, etc...

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Don't go stealing a baby

Just be there for me

Always in love

Car-less, "A"-less ... hopeless