Sunday, April 04, 2004 Squeak, squeak! ~Love Mum, Dad and Sis always~First off, I would like to apologize for my silly behaviour in my last post. I was at the time of the month where the hormones "party" like crazy and that probably explains why I posted a non-understandable entry. Indeed, I am very much aware of the fact that April Fool's Day was so uneventful and not to mention I did not even get tricked by anybody or even attempt to trick someone. Boy, I think school is getting to everyone here that an official day of pranks or jokes does not play a significant part in our lives anymore. The weather is getting so well these days. Finally, after 6 months of long, bitter winter, I felt the warmth of the sun on my cheeks again. The breeze was just right, the sun was proudly shining its glory down to earth for it is his time to take charge of the season. Undeniably, the weather still gets a little cranky. The temperature continues to fluctuate wildly up and down and I'm hoping I don't wake up one morning again to see snow falling down from the sky. No, no, no... Some of my friends have suggested the idea of picnicking at the park but I guess I don't have the time to "picnic" hehe. I have to start working hard for my finals. It is approaching fast but the weird feeling is that I don't feel its tense situation. I'm probably one of those people who can concentrate better when studying alone. With the company of friends, it's hard for me to stay focused somehow. I'm so used to studying all by myself since young and that's probably the case why I can't commit myself to study groups. Nevertheless, I have to admit a good study group can do so much for someone. I'm perfectly fine with the fact that I'm doing assignments with my other coursemates, but studying for exams is another thing and I usually don't mix the two up. I have to go at my own pace when reviewing for an exam and usually what hinders me is the company of friends, be they noisy asses or quiet ants. Everything happens for a reason, they say. I have yet to grasp those words in the grip of my hand. I'm guessing nothing happens for no reason of course. It is the heart of everything that keeps things going but we often overlook the slightest form of love, the subtle gesture of care, or the indecent atrocities and false pretenses. She knows she has lost everything but she never realized our help was for a good cause. Throwing her temper and ignoring the elders who apparently "cheated" her feelings only shows how much she can take on in the future. Such behaviour is intolerable. Spoiled to the bottom of the heart, she is as stubborn as a goat. Now, no one bothers about her. Everyone gave up on her as soon as she stepped over the borderline, assuming that she can escape from her already broken life, that everything must be done according to her way, that no one, not even her sickly mother can advise her, dig deep into her secrets, her heart. It is such disappointment that reaches my ears for I had an urge to stand by her side always as she was the deprived child who needed the love and care. Now, my sight is blocked by a barrier so arrogant and tall that it is not worth trying to break it down, to cure her illness at heart. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. And that reason is no more than love in this case... Farewell, old friend. May you find peace in the solitude life that you now seek. This is only the beginning and there are many more obstacles in your path. May you realize it soon enough to not cry a river when time cannot be turned back and things cannot be undone. For this is life, sometimes crying over spilt milk does no cure at all but it opens a new road in life. May God bless you always, my old friend...
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