Splash!

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Trust

Yesterday's J-Card Member Sale at JUSCO was total madness. I have never seen the crowd acting this mad before. There were even people rushing to grab hold of trolleys and cars driving dangerously in the carpark to get a parking space. Phew. It was a real shopping mania. But you know something, I realize you only get these kind of sale from JUSCO. Probably everywhere in Malaysia has the kind of sale as big as JUSCO's too. I know I can never find big sales like this in Canada. Even the largest shopping complex in the world at my town cannot match the great 1utama. My mum said something about this J-Card member sale. Something which I failed to observe the wise business tactics in luring more customers and maintaining their disputed reputation. She said this member sale was sort of like a reward to loyal customers of JUSCO. I'm telling you, the sale there is no small joke. A big package of Milo costed Rm21.00 before but now with a heart-throbbing discount, that Milo only costs Rm 7.99!! I saw this lady grabbing 8 packs herself. I watched on with much thought at the reason this man bought 15 boxes of 24-pack Coca-Cola. Splurging? I don't think so. Probably yesterday was the best day to spend it all. Even if you spend thousands of ringgit, you still get a handsome reward of cash vouchers. For every rm100 purchase of items, you get a cash voucher of Rm10.00 (for the red receipts) - Rm5 for green receipts (food items). It was a tiring day. Nevertheless, I bought two bras (and a wallet...I didn't "splurge") - only for ten ringgit each, man! Where else can you find such CHEAP bras! Hehe...so that covered most of the day. Gone shopping from 10am till 7pm!

I should learn to trust people more. After all these years, I never want to admit that I had trouble trusting people, not even my close friends, not even myself. Mind you, I am not talking about those trust that you get when you tell your secrets to friends or whoever. Those are just the simple part of life. You get what you trust - that's the rule for making sure they don't spill your beans. However, I am having a really big problem in trusting my confidence. Trust is something hard to gain, and it takes time to learn it. One mishap can burn that trust into ashes right away and change everything in the blink of an eye. That is what I am afraid of - the "mishap". I should no longer be putting myself into this pit. I really have to dig my way out because I don't want to be trap forever like this. It is driving me crazy. Many may think that I am just an ordinary girl who is going through the turmoils of life where emotions fluctuate up and down unpredictably but I do have depression. And if I don't treat it well, I am going to end up like my aunt - worn out, lifeless, isolated....Honestly, no one wants to be in a situation like that. But I find that I am dragging myself into it lately. I have been shutting off my inner senses, my strong wills. I have been allowing my emotions to lash freely. Well, I know in some ways it is good, but too much of everything is bad. It has been too much. I used to keep things to myself too much and now I am lashing out too much. Gosh. I really hope I can cure myself. Last night, I listed down the things that I should improve on myself:

Trust myself. Trust my own confidence
Stop making judgements. Love myself more. I am just as good, if not, better than those freaks.
Make more friends, socialize even if no one likes to hang out with me or talk to me. Just get rid of the judgement and be myself.
Concentrate on self-improvement (I need to discipline myself on this when I'm back in Canada)
Study hard. It is going to be a tough course for the next three years (I have decided not to extend another academic year)
Grow up (but not too much). My heart is still that of a little girl's.

I felt so much better after thinking about it. But it was not wise to stay up the whole night thinking and thinking and thinking...so I should get some rest now. By the way, I just got my driving license! Now, I can drive :) yippee!

Yun @ 11:38 PM | |

about me

Home: KL, Malaysia
School: U of A

I am someone who frets a lot - I call it a psychological disorder. I am constantly trying to escape my complex mind which, very often, drives me and my close companions to the edge of insanity. Born under the sun star Libra, I am greatly affected by a disease called "indecisiveness". Nicknames were never part of my dictionary until I met some people who decided to name me "turtle". Soon, I was representing a zoo of hamsters, "sotongs", pigs, cats, etc...

chat

When you meet a "retard", "act" like one too

Dung beetle

Eventful

Release the clutch!!!!

Society is ill

I'm lost