Splash!

Sunday, August 08, 2004

Disturbing thoughts

It was a bad start today. First, I had this terrible headache pounding all the way from early morning till I was forced to wake up at 10.30am. I do not know the reason for this nerve-wrecking pain. I was trying to make things a happy, normal day, but somehow everything turned upside down for me. Maybe I was trying too hard to forget some disturbing thoughts? Or is it the famous "PMS" that is stirring up my hormones.

Dad said "...drive us to McDonald's for breakfast". I knew the way, so I tried to be confident. Everything was fine until an interruption from my dad. I know I have to make a u-turn, but I saw form the corner of my eye that he was pointing to the u-turn at the road on the right, so naturally, I thought he wanted me to make a u-turn there (maybe, for safer reasons) but then as I was about to go into that road, my actions were questioned. In the end, I managed to make the original u-turn at the traffic light although it was awkward because I was too far out in the box. Okay, I was a little annoyed. I should not be. But I do not know why. It could be my hormones. Yeah, blame it all on the hormones :P

I was panicking but I could not feel it at that moment. I felt weird. I felt tensed. I always have this horrendous pressure weighing down on me whenever I am driving with my family. Totally out of my grip. I swerved too fast at the bend, and slowed down too fast after the bend. True, my mistake. Fortunate for me, no car was behind at that moment. So, I actually was not sticking to my lane. Thus, I received the blow again. Here comes the worse part. Probably, it was really the hormones and the panic state I was in. Argh, let's just say it is the wrath of confusion. Stupid enough, it turned into rage. I was actually shaking a little but no one noticed. I was on the right lane after that. McD's was on the left, so I had to find an opportunity to come into the left lane. At that time, my hands and my sight were not co-ordinating well anymore. Not at all. So, no signal, swerving in when there was a big car beside me, did not see cars were stopping in front of me...but not to worry, I pressed the brakes on time. Everyone was shouting in the car, blows and blows...hah, I actually cried. I could not take it. But, really confused feelings, and a not-so-clear mind today.

Odd, I still do not know what is bothering me today. It must be the hormones...

We are heading for a movie later - House of Flying Daggers.

I keep waiting for it, but the more I wait, the more it does not come, and the more sad I feel. Then, I think to myself, what the bloody hell am I doing. Am I wrong? Paranoid? Emotional?

Fine. Emotional. Worrying too much again. I hate days like this. I do not know myself anymore.

Yun @ 8:37 AM | |

about me

Home: KL, Malaysia
School: U of A

I am someone who frets a lot - I call it a psychological disorder. I am constantly trying to escape my complex mind which, very often, drives me and my close companions to the edge of insanity. Born under the sun star Libra, I am greatly affected by a disease called "indecisiveness". Nicknames were never part of my dictionary until I met some people who decided to name me "turtle". Soon, I was representing a zoo of hamsters, "sotongs", pigs, cats, etc...

chat

Swimming without rules

A present for my one-year-old dooddle ^o^ (edited)

Family Outing

Don't know what to do

Going home

Cruel love

Aunt Leelan's visit to KL

Sickly :(

Not yours to say, it is mine

Dreamy day