Splash!

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Go, Wincci!

I saw my friend in the papers today! Here!

I did not realize how much she has changed over the years until I saw her picture! And what a big surprise to see her winning national and state beauty contests. It certainly is an indescribable feeling when seeing someone you know in public newspapers (for good news, that is...).

I would say there is a little proud feeling to that. I can say, "Hey, that stunning girl in the papers is my friend!" Not that I am a very good friend of hers. But we were classmates for two years. Back then, we were pretty close friends :) And all this while she was the beauty-star in class. Very feminine-like, elegant, and polite. She is very down-to-earth and friendly too. I should meet her sometime before I go back to Canada. However, she seems to busy for a casual drink with me! ;)

Congratulations, Wincci! Keep it up for the finals!

^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^

At times, I feel really stupid.

Cheated.

It is when you give way to opportunity to mend things back, the hole collapse inwards deeper and deeper each time, unwilling to let you out. So, I just keep dropping. Disappointed and furious at heart.

I felt indignant for this treatment. Am I any different from the ones that make you smile? Am I just another stray cat on the streets that you would find so cute yet dirty and unkempt. And so, you will leave me out abandoned and lonesome. I will never be accepted into the warmth of your shelter. I would never be that friend who will keep you company till the end.

"Do I have any regrets?" I asked myself everytime I fall into this net.

No one answers. Only replays of scenes from the past will answer to it. It fills my head with such quick pace. Piling continously on top of me. I feel ready to fall. No answer still

"But why do people still have to force me?"

Undoubtedly, they were the ones who spurred up this mess in my head. I cannot take the blame alone. I may be crazy, but did they ever tell you why everyone thinks I am crazy? That is because you are stupid for you cannot understand my opinions and you cannot visualize my perceptions in your puny head. So, therefore, I am crazy in your own dictionary...

"How did we ever come to this?"

Our acquaintance, silly, what else?

"What did I do to deserve this sort of treatment?"

Maybe it was something you did in the past. Maybe people just think you are weird.

"Am I weird?"

(silence)

How will the world distinguish weird and normal? What is the meaning of individuality if there were to be discrimination against the weird, and respect for the normal? What is justice to mankind when pondans, gays, lesbians, transvestites are shunned for being abnormal...or put it this way, weird?

Just because I do not drink your cup of tea. Just because I do not eat sugar like you do. Just because I do not have the riches you earned. Or the smiles you get. Or the company you receive.

"What is this?"

A mere breakdown of your mind.

"Bullshit."

Well, if you say so.

"I want to earn my own dignity."

Work at it, girl. No one is stopping you from doing so.

"I have had enough with this."

That's right. You should not put yourself down to these dainty damsels. But are you being too insensitive?

"Why should I fucking care."

Oh, don't start the foul language, please. Doesn't solve the problem.

"Yes, yes...I don't know if I am. I should stop pretending to be someone I am not."

Hey, you have everything before you. What have you got to lose?

"Just forget them. After all, I have never been a part of their lives..."

Yun @ 11:29 AM | |

about me

Home: KL, Malaysia
School: U of A

I am someone who frets a lot - I call it a psychological disorder. I am constantly trying to escape my complex mind which, very often, drives me and my close companions to the edge of insanity. Born under the sun star Libra, I am greatly affected by a disease called "indecisiveness". Nicknames were never part of my dictionary until I met some people who decided to name me "turtle". Soon, I was representing a zoo of hamsters, "sotongs", pigs, cats, etc...

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Now for my next feed!

Luncheon for 30 last Sunday

Dumb movie reviews

Headaches Kill

Sex in cars

My cute little garden

Flying Passion

Disturbing thoughts

Swimming without rules

A present for my one-year-old dooddle ^o^ (edited)